Preface

ST CASSIANS BEST CHATROOM
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/43938592.

Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category:
F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Fandom:
Ride the Cyclone: A New Musical - Maxwell & Richmond, Legoland - Richmond
Character:
Noel Gruber, Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg, Mischa Bachinski, Jane Doe | Penny Lamb, Ricky Potts, Constance Blackwood (Ride the Cyclone), Corey (Ride the Cyclone), Astrid (Ride the Cyclone), Hank (Ride the Cyclone), Original Characters
Additional Tags:
Chatting & Messaging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Texting, Friendship, High School
Language:
English
Series:
Part 3 of uraniumverse
Stats:
Published: 2023-01-09 Words: 2,547 Chapters: 2/?

ST CASSIANS BEST CHATROOM

Summary

Join the growing community of St. Cassian's best (and only) chatroom, where you can make friends (or enemies) for life!

 

** administration is not responsible for any limbs, teeth, hair extensions, fake lashes, braces, pieces of clothing or cars lost or destroyed as result of activities on this site.

CHAT BOARD

Chapter Notes

fuck mccarter, arena, jacob richmond, brooke maxwell and anyone who was behind the script change. ricky is disabled in this fic, because he is disabled canonically and i refuse to accept otherwise.

- there's going to be a lot of original characters (st cassians students, teachers, bg), so be ready for that. also i like to worldbuild from time to time.

- headcanoning canon characters. possibly ooc.

- tried to be as time-period accurate as possible but shit goes wild lmao.

- silly mystery as in who are the admins. no one will guess who they are.

- polychoir in the future because polychoir 4 the win.

- probably will update tags as the fic goes on.

- there are going to be a lot of nsfw / drug / alcohol jokes and related activities, but i will tag them at the beginning of chapters that mention them

enjoy !!

(this part was a pain in the ass to format jesus christ)

profile cooladmin1 log out | report a bug | settings

LAST PRIVATE CHATS
cooladmin2: you: i sometimes wonder why i even let you be the second admin

ST. CASSIANS BEST CHATROOM

we guarantee anonymity and secrecy in revealing your ex best friend's secrets!

 

KINDERGARTEN (0 active) (3 guests) (44 messages in thread)
last message: badegg <9:04PM>: lmfao cope

 

BABYGATE (17 active) (2 guests) (67 messages in thread)
last message: jeanneduranium<9:02PM>: send it to me 2 ill pm you my email!!

 

NICHOLAS BODAFERY IS A HUGE PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!! (1 active) (0 guests) (131 messages in thread)
last message: frenchwhore <9:01PM>: HE CALLED ME A SLUT IN ELEMENTARY TOO OMFG 😭

 

GENERAL (12 active) (3 guests) (421 messages in thread)
last message: kellyrad93 <8:42PM>: well I wouldn't be so confident about a dumb bitch who looks like she was hit by a cum truck

 

BUY SELL GET (0 active) (2 guests) (149 messages in thread)
last message: anonimusdevil <8:52PM>: whee i get. weeweed

 

RAGE ROOM (3 active) (0 guests) (49 messages in thread)
last message: justamonki <3:14PM>: can sister louise shut the fuck up for one second I need to copy my math homeowrk *angry*

 

LOCAL TIN FOIL HATS AT IT AGAIN (0 active) (2 guests) (71 messages in thread)
last messages: adammfontaine <2:49PM>: YOURE NOT SERIOUS.

 

CAN ADMINS DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE BOTS? (6 active) (0 guests) (29 messages in thread)
last message: midnitechilde <2:12AM>: How the fuck do you simp for Ray Toro of all people he looks absolutny rancid.

 

WEST WAY ROCKS (0 active) (0 guests) THREAD LOCKED

 

SECRET POST OFFICE (0 active) (0 guests)

 

CHOIR 🔒 (8 members)

 

SHITTING ON GINGER 🔒 (4 members)

 

ANTI-CHOIR COALITION 🔒 (7 members)

 

SUPER SECRET KOOL KIDS KLUB 🔒 (9 members)

 

HOCKEY TEAM 🔒 (10 members)

 

1 | 2 | 3 | … >

Chapter 2

GENERAL

6:52 AM

connie32191: What went down yesterday and what is Babygate???

lindseyzelmer: ohhh babes you don't want to know

connie32191: No I want to

lindseyzelmer: 100% sure? this might hurt

connie32191: Tell me

lindseyzelmer: soo basically taylor and mirandas cousin from saskatoon posted on her facebook that shes driving 2 uranium with baby clothes for her cousin and now the whole town is talking about who got pregnant and who is the baby daddy someone knows but wont tell and the babygate conspirator group in squad i won't mention found out its most probably taylor and jess ex bf chris

thatssojessie: HEY ARE WE TALKING SHIT ABOUT TAYLOR AGAIN??? 😁 I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT HER

connie32191: Wow that's sounds... Very intense!

lindseyzelmer: yeah it was LOL

thecoolbackboy: Barely seven and you're starting out with your babygate bullshit lmao

thatssojessie: I slept literally two hours don't fuck w/me.

thecoolbackboy: Wooo scary dot at the end 😱

thatssojessie: I can get my dad’s gun and do some fun during lunch

thecoolbackboy: Can't joke about girls anymore your school gets threatened with shooting smh!!

Thatssojessie: Remember the time when I threw you down the bleachers and you almost had a heart attack

coreysbigballs: me and Eric had to carry him to the nurse youre so fucking heavy

thecoolbackboy: Sorry for having a healthy weight You should see Brandon and his pulp of muscles

coreysbigballs: Thats a whole diff league

connie32191: Brandon is 300 pounds of muscle and fat the whole school would have to rally to pick him up

thatssojessie: I feel bad for people who have to play with him

connie32191: Ocean has PE with him and says he absolutely mauls other players

thecoolbackboy: Yeah I will stick to my swimming team

CHOIR

7:04 AM

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: What continuously amazes me about Lindsey that she manages to get her point across without any interpunction.

frenchwhore: come on at least she doesn’t threaten to ip ban her friends if they don’t do grammar

r1ckyp00ttz: its barely 7am guys ples….

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: Your first username here was frenchhore.

*😠* (1)

frenchwhore: shut up "puts-winner-of-uranium-city-spelling-bee-competition-between-1998-2003-on-her-college-application"

r1ckyp00ttz: i remember when you had a panic attack after josh won in 5th grade and my mom tried to bribe you with girl scout cookies to calm down XD

frenchwhore: i still giggle about it

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: It was actually TRAUMATIC.

r1ckyp00ttz: you got snot all over my mom's jacket

frenchwhore: LMFAOOO

frenchwhore: your mom was honestly a spelling bee icon

r1ckyp00tts: shes the best forreal… guess the experience for being at national spelling bee back in 6th grade was an experience. and then she became a volunteer and dragged me along to every single competition in our area.

r1ckyp00ttz: i loved causing havoc at the spelling bee.... one year i said to some allergic kid that the cookies he was eating had nuts and he freakes the fuck out spitting it everywhere and he basically got allergic reaction from himself crying

r1ckyp00ttz: graspinf at his neck and shit

r1ckyp00ttz: and then i said to the jury my tablet glitched and the best part is they believed me XDDD

frenchwhore: you could say deez nuts………

frenchwhore: ocean keeps getting deeznutsed by me and mischa you should honestly try it its hilarious

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: I will not comply with the lies and slander against me. I do not fall victim for Mischa and Noel's "deez nuts" jokes.

*Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg is inactive*

frenchwhore: we got the ginger mad whoopsies

*Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg is active*

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Whoopsies your butt.

r1ckyp00ttz: tbh i was expecting you to censor “ass”

*Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg is inactive*

GENERAL

11:03 AM

 

thatssojessie: OKAY BUT THIS TIME I SWEAR IT'S NOT ME. I DIDN'T CALL IN.

dillionmatt: Can confirm was with her all day

frenchwhore: can we have ONE NORMAL DAY at this school

dillionmatt: No

thatssojessie: No

thatssojessie: We have to entertain ourselves

thatssojessie: Even if it means having bomb alarms

adammfontaine: Jesus Christ why everything fun happens when I’m out of town.

thatssojessie: We have an bomb on campus alarm! Such a fun day isn’t it?

lindseyzelmer: im hiding out in the toilet mr woods let me and the alar went off lmao

purplepumkins: He just left 2 search 4 u Lindsey

lindseyzelmer: oh shit

frenchwhore: YEAH OH SHIT

adammfontaine: Tbh bomb alarm seems more fun than having to testify in a custody battle

adammfontaine: Bro I just want to play GTA in peace I don’t care at which house

lindseyzelmer: when my prents were divorcing we had to fly to Saskatoon for some court proceedings and I HAD TO SIT BETWEN THEM because neither of them wanted to sit next to the other and my asshole brother wouldn’t change seats w/me

purplepumpkins: Horror story

lindseyzelmer: no because for real i cringed all the way there

frenchwhore: oh my god 💀

frenchwhore: thank god my dad didn’t fight for custody because i would kill myself if i had to sit between them on a 6-hr flight

lindseyzelmer: i almost did

thatssojessie: Wait I play GTA too whats ur xbox live acc Adam?

adammfontaine: adaMMfontaine94

thatssojessie: Gonna add you after school

 

11:25 AM

 

connie32191: Art wing got alarm called off

jasjasyass: At least you can sit inside. Mrs Nguyen took all of us to the field and it’s so cold I cant feel my feet

*🫂* (2)

frenchwhore: algebra 12 called off too ugh

adammfontaine: Damn good luck soldier

adammfontaine: I’m still waiting in the court’s cafeteria and the food here is absolutely horrible

connie32191: Worse than our school?

adammfontaine: Suprising but yeah

adammfontaine: The vending machine is almost empty and the only choices is a peanut protein bar (I have allergy), suspiciously-looking energy drink, tiny bag of ketchup sticks and a condom
frenchwhore: mix them

connie32191: A CONDOM???

adammfontaine: bought everything but the condom and going to the toilet right now to mix it
adammfontaine: If you guys have fun up there I can too

frenchwhore: revolution <3

 

11:49 AM

 

purplepumpkins: Hes still searching 4 Lindsey

CHOIR

12:23 PM

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: One more time the secretary spells my last name as Rosenburg and I might get violent.

badegg : I will get wiolent too They cant spel any of my names

badegg : What Is so hard about Mischa it's shorted than Richard

r1ckyp00ttz: mischa. my dearest friend. my comrade. my platonic sweetheart. don't ever. ever. mention my legal name again or there will be consequences.

r1ckyp00ttz: treat it as a non-threatening message.

connie32191: Why is everyone texting in middle of class?

badegg : I got have study hour with yu

r1ckyp00ttz: not participating in pe as always

r1ckyp00ttz: miss ocean?

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: Father Markus told me to get copies of our school documentation for the upcoming competition.

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: I strong dislike engaging with any sort of conversation with our school secretary.

connie32191: The last time I was in her office she was talking v loudly and clearly about her ingrown toenail problems

badegg: They Shul d fire her

connie32191: True

r1ckyp00ttz: lmao losers my parents either sign me out or the teachers do

badegg : I just Go when I want to

connie32191: ... Isn't that kind of illegal?

badegg: idc. They can’T deport me 2 Ukraine

r1ckyp00ttz: fair

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: You still shouldn’t walk out of school. You can get arrested and get in on your criminal record and you won’t be accepted to any college or job.

badegg: for walking?

r1ckyp00ttz: XDDDD

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: For skipping school!

badegg: I am Gangsta I will run

r1ckyp00ttz: [024372074.gif]

connie32192: It’s true I have PE with him and he CAN run

r1ckyp00ttz: i need to see you run mischa

badegg: Oaky I will Run

r1ckyp00ttz: … it sounds very threatening for some reason

connie32191: I would be extremely concerned if I were you Ricky

r1ckyp00ttz: I AM??

r1ckyp00ttz: where are you running mischa?

badegg: Yir hause

r1ckyp00ttz: WHAT

connie32191: HELP

r1ckyp00ttz: HWY ARE YOU RUNNING OT MY HOUSE??

r1ckyp00ttz: RESPOND HELLO????

r1ckyp00ttz: MISCHA

connie32191: He’s gonna fuck your mom 😨

r1ckyp00ttz: YOURE NOT FUCKING MY MOM MISCHA

badegg: Not now.

r1ckyp00ttz: IM EVEN MORE SCARED NOW??

r1ckyp00ttz: WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Please do not fuck anyone’s mom Mischa.

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Or anyone, for that matter.

connie32191: I can go home with you today Ricky

connie32191: We will guard your mom

r1ckyp00ttz: YOURE A LIFESAVER my last period is crime and law whats urs??

connie32191: Physics 3 We can met up in the parking lot

r1ckyp00ttz: arlight!! thank you con

connie32191: np

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: *Alright *Thank

r1ckyp00ttz: spelling bee

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: STOP IT.

 

CHOIR

4:15 PM

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Are you still waiting for Mischa?

r1ckyp00ttz: yes

r1ckyp00ttz: we are camping on the kitchen floor, we have snacks and currently watching high school musical 2

frenchwhore: … i think i can notify you that i just saw mischa speeding on a bike by my house

r1ckyp00ttz: WHAT

frenchwhore: I JUST SAW HIM SPEEDING BY AND HE WAS FUCKING SMASHING THE PEDALS TO GO FASTER

r1ckyp00ttz: SHIT SHIT SHIT

frenchwhore: RED AND WHITE BIKE

r1ckyp00ttz: WERE ARMING UP IM NOT LETTING HIM NEAR MY MOTHER

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Don’t you think it’s a bit extreme?

r1ckyp00ttz: NO.

r1ckyp00ttz: I CAN SEE HIM FROM THE STREET SHIT

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Just stay alive.

 

4:28 PM

 

r1ckyp00ttz: MISCHA JUST FELL A WHOLE STORY

r1ckyp00ttz: HES LAYING ON THE GROUND

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: WHAT.

r1ckyp00ttz: DID I KILL MISCHA????

frenchwhore: MISCHA IS DEAD??

frenchwhore: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM???

frenchwhore: HELLO??

frenchwhore: REPLY TO ME

frenchwhore: thats it im going over to ur house

r1ckyp00ttz: HE’S ALIVE

r1ckyp00ttz: DON’T BEAT ME UP

r1ckyp00ttz: OR CONSTANCE

r1ckp00ttz: IM IN A WHEELCHAIR SHE HAS GLASSES

frenchwhore: got in my mom’s car

r1ckyp00ttz: MISCHA IS ALIVE

r1ckyp00ttz: I DIDN’T KILL HIM

r1ckyp00ttz: PLEASE NOEL HAVE MWERCY

badegg: Norl pelse dont be,,at RIck or Constanc.E up they. did sont kil meb

r1ckyp00ttz: see noel he’s asking

frenchwhore: send me a photo evidence of him being alive and ill think about it

r1ckyp00ttz: [432182_021109.jpg] [ID: a blurry image of mischa, wearing a black hoodie and gray sweatpants laying on a beige couch, there’s a red blanket beneath him. his legs are hanging off the couch, and he has one arm thrown across his face.]

badegg: Im Live

badegg: Not well bUt, Okay

frenchwhore: do you need a lift to the hospital? you know i don’t mind.

badegg: I will Be Okay

badegg: DQnt worry Poet I am strong

❤️ (1)

r1ckyp00ttz: constance went to the pharmacy to pick up tylenol bc we only have strong meds for me and they would knock mischa out

badegg: Stop aplogizinang Ricky it Is Ockay

r1ckyp00ttz: i still feel bad

badegg: Dont Sing so fAst cant Urenstand

r1ckyp00ttz: sorry

badegg: Stop

frenchwhore: im pulling up

frenchwhore: i have mcdonalds

badegg: MCDONALDAS <333

 

9:08 PM

 

Penny :3 : I just Swa Ez r.a fist-Fight soMeon ,,e in Warklmmnat

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Oh my God.

badegg: Why didn’t You invete Me

Penny :3 : sorRY did’nt know Tis happen :c

Badegg: its okay penny don’t stress hit

connie32191: … Why did Ezra fist-fought someone in our Walmart?

Penny :3 : adoakbsdaer j24?’>:@319247 !@Seee3321#E qw3e42

connie32191: Oh

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Are you okay Penny?

Penny :3 : dser90 ds!?! :(

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Do you need someone to pick you up?

Penny :3 : P Lic.,de

frenchwhore: police??

Penny :3 : 👍

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: WERE YOU ARRESTED??

Penny :3 : 👎

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Where are you now??

Penny :3 : can t ghgo2

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: What does that mean?

Connie32191: If you can’t go home, you can come to the café

Connie32191: My mom is still cleaning up

Penny :3 : Ezra here.

Penny :3 : We’re going to the café if it’s okay

Connie32191: OFC!! Just let me tell my mom rq

Connie32191: Okay told her I’m bringing out the sleeping bags from basement

Penny :3 : Thank you Constance.

 

01:34 AM

 

Penny :3 : Help

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: What’s wrong?

badegg: U K Penny?

Penny :3 : Ez/a and COnsance ., are fiGhtign….

Connie32191: HE SOTLE MY FUCKING DORITOS

r1ckyp00ttz: GET HIS ASS

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: Please, refrain from using profanities in the chat.

badegg: Fuck cokc assf fuck fuck

badegg: Bitch motherfUcker

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: And some teachers still think you don’t understand

r1ckyp00ttz: i told him to type motherfucker im kind of surprised he did it correctly

badegg: Always sweer correctly

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: … Alright

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: Why aren't you sleeping? You should be getting your good night's sleep now.

badegg: PlayingG Marjo Kart with Rickman

badegg: Why aren’t Yu8o sleep Oceon?

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: I have many responsibilities as the school president!

r1ckyp00ttz: be so serious now

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: I drank five mugs of coffee in the past two I don’t think anything is real

connie32191: Do you need me to call? I’m currently hiding out in the basement bathroom with my bag of Cheezits LOL

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg: No, thank you for your concern though Connie <3

Connie32191: No problem Cee <3333

Connie32191: Ezra is banging on the bathroom door demanding his ransom (Cheezits). If I’m not at school tomorrow bring pink tulips and dahlias to my funeral I really liked them (and you guys)

 

Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg (satan spawn) ---> frenchwhore (norl)

satan spawn: Why do I feel like this.

Afterword

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